[	mood	|	cold	]
[	music	|	The Ringer On My Phone.........?	]

Well I have soem news for you all: I'm not really Mexican. It was an inside joke. Not that you all are on the outside it's just-nvm I'm going no where with this. However I am Ecuadorian-but that doesn't work for a journal name-but I am Latina hence my new journal username:   Lil_Latina21  so if you do in fact truly love me you will add me to your friend's list sso go here and do so: www.livejournal.com/users/lil_latina21 .

Love For All:

Bre~

[

mood

|

crazy

]

There are three things in life that have helped me regain my sanity and maintain my sanity:

1.) God- well duh. Of course. He had always put people there for me and I'm happy and alive for that.

2.) My Horse- well when  my day is going wretched and  i want to do stupid things I go ride my horse to the top of the mountian and sit there until I'm relaxed.  It's my getaway. Much like some people and playing their music. It frees me. The exhiliration of holding on for my life and the wind wipping my hair against my face and the feeling of flying upwards and the excitement of knowing that if I fall I may never wake up-ok so that's just for the lack of a helmet which i  am supposed to wear but i like the danger of not doing so. I love running up those mountains.

3.) And well the 3rd is that special person who makes me feel special and worth something. The person who colors my days with smiles and laughter. The person who convinced me that I had any reason at all to be happy. The person who when I'm in their arms I feel as though i could stay forever and I'm overwhelmed with this amazing sense of security and peace. The person who I can't keep off my mind. The person that I feel tortured if i cause them any unhappiness and feel like an idiot. The only person who I completely trust and can only hope that I hold theirs. And if you don't know who this person s please go away now. Ok jk.

My Apology To someone who knows who they are: I'm sorry for the days when I'm inconsiderate and I cause you sadness. I'm sorry for the times when I'm being dumb and I do stupid things. I'm sorry for being unconsiderate of your hard times when I should just be there for you and lend you a shoulder. Im sorry for not always being what you deserve because you're amazing and you'll never know how much you mean to me.

I'm happy for stuffing and my special patatoes. Aside from that I hate thanksgiving and turkey. I want honey baked ham. But no. No one cares what Bre thinks-we're going to have that disgusting dry bird. Blah. I don't like pie either-well only cherry pie and boston cream pie and banana cream pies. everything else is icky. Bu to course we're having pumpkin pie. ew. And now there is a threat ot my homemade bread stuffing-it may be rosemary bread. ew. I hate rosemary.

And now the bell rings in my class and I must go.

I love you all dearly-

~Bre

[

mood

|

bored

]

Your Power Color Is Blue Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

well i don't know about that but maye i should retake it.

~bre

[

mood

|

aggravated

]

This will be to clarify what I wrote earlier. I am sad to say that I did not fully read into the stuff said about people being emo. I don’t think it was right to sit there and say that someone was right in what they were saying. I read into all of it a little more and discovered that there was too much bashing. You all had rights to jump up and be offended. The book, from what I have heard and support even not having read the book, is that it was very good and touched on many issues of our struggles. People reading the book and being touched by it and coming to epiphanies as a result of it should not, I repeat not, be criticized for it. They are not being emo either. They are simply being deep and showing their depth of understanding on these pressing issues. Because we may not see the depth and reality in these things that so many of us deal with does not mean we have a right to cal them emo and over-reacting. I’m saddened that you cannot see the gravity of the issues and take them to heart without using the newfound knowledge to deal with life. It reveals a lack of depth in the heart and is sad to see that anyone lacks sympathy and instead retorts with their lack of understanding to absurd name-calling. Especially when one has not even read this book. I applaud those who stood up for those who had such atrocities thrown inconsiderately at them. We should not stand by while selected others are being hurt pointlessly. Ashley just because you don’t see the lessons in this book does not give you reason to say its crap. You set it out for the world to see what you think of your friends and your lack of care for them. Understanding and support of friends is crucial in life and so far I see that you are lacking in these areas. You are not lacking in care of friends your are lacking in the caring for friends. I love you hon but there are certain things you need to rethink.

I recant a lot of my previous post, my apologies.

[	mood	|	bouncy	]
[	music	|	The hum of the computer lab modems...	]

I'm back from the world of business.

Well I think live journal is hilarious. Everyone is on it. and it's our wondeul gossip circle. of course I knowingly use that to my advantage.

This is now regarding Ashley's entry that some people freaked about. Wow. Calm. Some people do find it dumb that alot of people are so emo. That's because we have it so good that it's absurd that we carry on about how depressing our lives are when in actuality they are amazing compared ot those of others. Yes i admit I can be emo. I still think being emo is stupid. Not to mention selfish. Don't try and give me your crap about you have a right to be. Still I suppose we can't sit here and rag on people for being emo we can only go on to help them in any way we are able to.

I love ashley and her opinion on the book is fine for her. It only matters what it did for you. I myself will read it. I do however say that before you trash the book go read it.

I love you all and please don't beat me for my opinions here.

~Bre~

Going back to sleep~later.

~bre

[

mood

|

accomplished

]

Hehe. I feel happy. Yesterday I got really really angry and I just took a deep breath and said, "God please take my anger away. Make me calm." And omg-It worked!!! I have an anger problem and I get angry quickly and then I don't deal with it right. Well I think this is a major step for me because it made me so peaceful and relaxed. This makes me oh so happy.

Last night was fun. Sorry you didn't have fun Brandon. =(    Monika-Grant-What crazy fun did I miss on the mountain? Lol-Luv ya guys~

~bre

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	Oh God I'm humming hillary duff again	]

Ok so the storm last night-scared me terribly. I don't mind lightning, I don't mind rain, I don't mind wind. But good lord it was so loud it woke me up at 1:00am. I sleep through just about everything at night. And it frickin woke me up! And then it was so loud and there was lightining flashes every three seconds(yes i counted and averaged it out) and I could not fall asleep until it died down.

So our barn is flooded. We have  drainage system but Twister thought it would be fun to break it. The arena is like 1 1/2 feet of mud. Baby is in awe over it still. He spent an hour this morning just walking around and looking at it. Then he kept taking off running and bucking wildy and slipping through the mud. It was so cute. =)

Yesterday was so uneventless. Today will most likely be uneventless. Especially since someone took their ever precious time in telling me that we were working out this morning and now won't pick up their phone! Agh! Oh well maybe I'll just get someone to go with me tomorrow. Maybe I could convince Grant to go with me since he's always at work when everyone else is working out. 

I have officially decided that I am horrible at making decisions and I lack a lot common sense and I am frickin 15 and it sucks! I'm really not the brightest crayon in the box in the first place but the fact that I'm so young makes me 3x the idiot. And no, no one needs to agree with me on that. I don't know where I stand in life. It's a  horrible feeling to not know what to do.  I hate being confused and feeling helpless and feeling as if the weight of everything is resting on me and I every move I make could possibly smother me.  I don't like knowing that my decisions are important to anyone. Then I really have trouble deciding. I always screw up my decisions too. I'd rather have everything be simple. Then again-what would be the fun in that?

Church is tonight. I don't even want to go. I just want to sit around and comtemplate what to do with the mess I've made so many things. I suppose I could do that in church too.

>Ridiculously Confused<

[	mood	|	chipper	]
[	music	|	something from MXPX.....	]

Oh happy day. So excited about finally riding english. I can just see it now....me and twister beautifully completing a hunter flat class. Mmmm...such happiness. Then Apache gracefully completing a hunter jumper class, her beautiful flowing gait. So beautiful. I can just see it now.....to bad we won't be good enough to go to Delmar next year. Maybe I'll just go for fun and watch Rio and Courtney. Good times.....never better.........

Well that's a definite change from yesterday's somberness. Doubt that's a word.

I'm out to work on some sketches.....bye~

>>>*~blood stained rose~*<<<